


Afraid

by kjavdekar



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Anal Sex, Caring, Fluff and Smut, I Love You, Love, M/M, Oh My God, Past Abuse, Sex, Shameless Smut, Sweet/Hot, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:13:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjavdekar/pseuds/kjavdekar
Summary: It's been 3 weeks since Connor and Oliver got back together. Oliver comes home to Connor sitting in the dark because of a bad day...he gets him to open up about his past and then confesses why he's afraid to lean on him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write very much gay smut but I hope its good :)

Oliver opens the door to a dark apartment. He fumbles for the light switch and turns it on, only to hear a low groan in the distance.

“Connor?” he calls only to hear a grunt back. He still hasn’t gotten use to Connor being back. It’s only been 3 weeks since they got back together.

“Con-what’s wrong? Why are you sitting in the dark?”

“Bad day” he mumbles

Oliver leaves the light off, chucks his bag off to the side and feels his way to the couch. He takes a seat and pulls at the younger man’s elbow but he resists. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Connor shrugs and then mutters a I don’t know when he realizes Oliver can’t see him.

“Hard case?” he offers

“Psychological abuse” he mutters

“Oh. You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“Yeah Ollie-can we just drop it”

Oliver bites at his lip “It’s just, I’ve never seen you react like this over a case. Does it- he treads cautiously, have anything to do with our fight?” he whispers

Connor groans. Even without saying anything Oliver knows him better than anything. But he really doesn’t want to lean on Oliver.

“I guess”

“You know I never meant it right? Calling you damaged I mean. You’re not Con-”

The younger man shrugs “No you were probably right. I am damaged-I always have been”

“Baby don’t think that. I’m sorry for what I said. Truly. I never-”

“It’s not that Olls. I-well-” he pauses

Oliver scoots closer to him and reaches for his hand “Talk to me please”

Connor sighs knowing that Oliver won’t let it go “I-I was abused when I was younger”

“What?” Oliver nearly shrieks. “How come you never-I mean why didn’t you-how could you-”

“Not like that Olls. Just mentally.”

“But-that’s worse Con!” he chokes out

Connor felt Oliver shaking to hold him so he pulled him into his embrace. “I’m okay Ollie, really. Just-this case is reminding me of my ex. He was-well not a great guy. He used me and I let him, guess I should have known better huh?”

“Connor this is not your fault. He had no right to do that”

“Yea well he did”

“What-what did he say to you? He asks, immediately regretting it. “You don't have have to tell me, I-I don’t want to hurt you anymore”

Connor shrugs “He told me I wasn’t worth having a relationship with. That no one would ever love me because I wasn’t worth more than a good hard fucking”

Oliver sobbed unable to find the words

“What’s worst is I believed him, Ollie. I believed him for so long that it became a part of me. This cold-stand offish guy who ‘didn’t do boyfriends’ because I never thought someone could want more than that”

“Connor I-”

Connor tilts his chin up and kisses him soft and needy. “Don’t Ollie. You have nothing to be sorry about. If anything you made me believe, believe that I was worth more. You make me so happy Ollie. That’s why I’m so afraid that-” he trails off

Oliver looks into his eyes “Afraid of what?”

He lets out a deep exhale “I’m afraid to need you again. Afraid that I’m going to do something to ruin this again and this time you won’t come back to me. Afraid to give you my heart because you broke it so bad the last time. Afraid to love you again even though I don’t know how to stop-I”

Oliver pulls Connor into him to the point where Connor is basically on his lap and strokes his cheek “You don’t have to worry about that Connor. Not anymore. he says pulling the younger man in tighter. I know we’ve both made mistakes but we’ve learned from them and I know we are stronger now. Whatever happens from this point on, doesn’t matter because we have each other. he states. I promise you baby, I’m yours”

Connor finds Oliver’s lips and kisses soft and eager before whispering “Show me”

A smirk sweeps across Oliver’s face but he doesn’t protest in the least. He kisses back as he stands to his knees and pulls the younger man off the couch delivering kisses down his neck as he leads him to the bedroom.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are to me Connor?”

Connor whimpers because Oliver is kissing the spot on his neck that has his knees buckling. “No” 

“You’re so gorgeous Connor... _so gorgeous._ Sometimes when I wake up next to you I can’t believe this is my life and that you chose me”

The younger man groans and pulls Oliver’s hips into his own. “Please Ollie-”

“I’ve got you baby” he whispers as he pushes him down on the bed and pulls at his belt. Oliver’s fingertips leave the belt for a second and trace his erection. Connor moans at the contact arching his back to thrust himself into his boyfriend’s hands.

Oliver undoes Connor’s belt and shimmies his pants off, taking a hold of his hard and leaking cock. He grips soft and begins to stroke. Connor’s head hits the pillow as his cheek falls to one side. “Oh Ollie-just like that” The older man grins at the sounds coming from his boyfriend as he strokes a little faster before taking him in his mouth. “God, yes” Connor pants as he grabs at Oliver’s hair.

Oliver groans as he licks up the underside of the younger man’s cock. Slow and sweet as he kisses the tip before taking him eagerly into his mouth. Connor wants to watch, watch his gorgeous boyfriend’s mouth on him but he’s lost. Lost in the heat of passion, all he can do is moan. Oliver can’t get enough, he pushes Connor deeper into his mouth as the tip hits the back of his throat and it has them both crying

“Ollie-” he cries reaching out his arms for contact, but Oliver sucks harder feeling himself growing in his pants to the point of irritation “Fuck Ollie-you’re so good to me, _so good_.

Oliver places a hand on his boyfriend's belly as he sucks harder, hollowing out his cheeks.

Connor is writhing beneath him "Ollie please, I need to feel you”

The older man groans at the thought and releases Connor from his mouth. He gets on his knees and undoes his pants, letting his erection spring free. Connor licks his lips at the sight of him “ _Fuck_. Fucking kiss me will you-”

Oliver grins as he kisses his way up the younger man’s chest, finding his lips and groaning. Connor slips his tongue into Oliver’s mouth and yanks down on his neck hard. “I want you-” he pants

“Connor-”

“I need you Ollie-I need you so fucking much. please baby-”

That’s all it takes. Oliver hops off the bed to grab a condom and lube and nearly tumbles on top of him. He ghosts his lips onto Connor’s neck and sucks ever so slightly watching him cry out for him underneath him. Connor groans as Oliver opens the cap and spills some onto his fingers drawing his fingers near the tight ring of muscle. Connor shakes at the delicate contact biting his lips in anticipation and then Oliver’s finger is in him. Pushing inside pumping ever so slowly -in-out-in-out- “looks like I didn’t even need lube today. You’re so wet for me” he smirks

“Only for you” he moans

Oliver blushes at the admission as he pumps faster adding a second finger, twisting and scissoring opening him up, getting him ready for his hard cock "I love seeing you like this Con-so desperate and needy for me" 

“Ollie!” he groans

“Say it Connor-say it for me”

“I want you-I want to feel you” he growls

Oliver grabs the condom and rips it open with his teeth. But just as he’s about to slide it on Connor grabs his wrist. “No don’t”

The older man stares wide eyed “Connor, no! We can’t”

“Yes we can”

“I know you’re on PreP but things could still-” he trails off looking down

Connor leans forward and pulls at Oliver’s chin “Hey-look at me”

Oliver looks up from beneath his lashes

“It’s okay Ollie-I know what this means”

“But Connor you could-”

“You said you’re mine right?”

“Well yeah but-”

“Then it doesn’t matter” he whispers

Just as Oliver is about to make a rebuttal Connor catches his lips and requests “I want to feel you Ollie- _all of you_ ”

Oliver can’t help but tear up as he tosses the condom aside and grabs a hold of his erection. He places the tip at the younger man's entrance and pushes in slowly, stretching him and surround himself with Connor’s tightness. He buries his face in the younger man’s chest and kisses ragged and fast, breathing shallow until he reaches the hilt.

“I’m ready” Connor whispers

Oliver doesn’t need to be told twice. He rolls his hips as he makes love to Connor. Feeling his cock surrounded by bliss and love and passion. He pulls nearly all the way out just to thrust back in with force, feeling Connor's walls coming down because of him “You feel so good Connor, you always feel so fucking good”

“Jesus Ollie-I-I’m not going to last without a condom”

Oliver blushes and falls to steal a kiss “You’re amazing you know that. Always selfless and always kind to me, I don’t know how I got so lucky” he confesses as he fucks him. “I’m never letting you go Connor-never” he thrusts 

Connor strains letting his head fall and his eyes roll back “I-I”

“Tell me Connor-”

“Ollie- _Ollie_ -fuck I’m going to come”  

Oliver palms the younger man stroking him as he brushes his lips against his ear “Go on then baby, cum for me. Make a mess for me”

“I love you,” he breathes, his expression completely sincere, “I love you so much, I have never, ever loved anyone the way I love you Olls, you’re everything, you’re-”

And Connor comes hard-back arched-neck strained-shooting streams of white all over himself, lost in a sea of white bliss as Oliver comes not seconds later with Connor's name on his lips.

Oliver stills, breathing hard on Connor's neck kissing whatever skin he can find "Christ Connor!" "That was-" but he can say nothing more. Oliver nips at Connor’s neck as he comes down from his high. Fisting Connor's hair and burying his nose in pearls of sweat. He stills allowing himself to wait until Connor's tight walls push him out. He presses a sweet kiss to Connor's lips as he lays beside him 

“Connor?” he whispers

“Yeah Olls?” he says panting

“You’ve always been more than sex to me”

Connor rolls over and noses the older man’s hair, breathing in every word he just said like a vibration flowing through him. “I know.” he whispers filling the apartment with nothing but breathless panting and murmured “I love you’s” to be heard.


End file.
